ashes of american flags, and 9.6v turbo power

Simple chemistry, thats all batteries are. You wouldn't that a metal and platstic casing with some abundant chemicals inside would be so expensive, but good lord they are. $12 for a 4-pack of 9 volts. I can go through an entire 9v in about 5 hours with my recording setup, and that sucks.

I have mysterious foot pain. It's coming from the top of my left foot, just to the left and in front of my ankle.
It's kind of a dull pain, but it hurt enough to bother me throughout work.

Today is also a day of recovery from last night. Not hungover...just feelin' a little....slow.

My name is Stubin McNarfgar

Sometimes I think about taking up an activity, much like a hobby. Then when I think about it, i realize that I already do things that can be considered hobbies, yet I feel like calling them that would lower them to the level of say, stamp collecting or model airplane building. Don't get me wrong, those things can be neat in a i-don't-tell-the-opposite-sex-about-it way..but I was going to do a hobby, i would do something cool... like brewing. Now, I like beer. I've been able to develop a palate for some different stuff in my limited age and experience and an appreiciate for what exactly goes into making this (usually) tannish concoction. If I had the money and the time, (or if I didn't play guitar, etc.) I would probably try my hand at it. Just from what i've read online in a few different FAQs and newbie guides, it doesn't seem very easy, but it not being easy also can mean that it's a challenge! Sorry, thats that pesky optimism/rose colored glasses thing again.

I think the reason i would like that activity is because it 1. Its unique 2. I like beer 3. it would take some time to get good at it, (this is what we could call "personal enrichment"- LOL, thank you high school guidance counselor) 4. slight possibility of business potential.

I think an activity which requires some patience and skill would be the best 'hobby' for me. Something like wood-working (which I would of course turn into guitar-making) or photography (with the whole darkroom business) or writing.

Today I have some major stuff to take care of. Transitions being made and such. Ta-ta.

started an hour early, got home an hour early

In two exploits of mine that i take fairly seriously, i've been trying to use them as a vehicle to become a more disciplined person in general. Those things are playing guitar, of course, and running, which is a fairly new thing for me, at least compared to my life with the guitar so far.

I like to think that "my mind is as clever as I am." It's all about your mind being tricky, and using every possible ruse it can conjure to get you to change what you are doing into something comfortable. If I'm playing a particularly difficult passage or struggling during a run, thoughts such as 'well, maybe i'll slow down, or play it a different, easier way that i'm comfortable with' and it takes strength to ignore that. I also realize this is one of the concepts behind meditation, which i've never tried or anything. But it seems like taking an almost meditative approach to practice and training just multiplies the effect of my practice and concentration. So i believe being disciplined in these things, which i love to do, will make me a stronger person in the ways thati really want to be stronger in.

this is when everyone grows up and gets real jobs

I can tell you that "talent genes" are no more helpful in the long run than, say, being given a killer computer, as opposed to saving up and buying one yourself. Eventually, the one saving will have caught up, and the given one may be obsolete by then, anyway. You think talent is what made Charlie Parker great? How about Steve Vai? How about Dali? They got far not because they came out of the womb with better motor skills; they worked their asses off, practicing and training in their crafts for amounts of time most people would deem ridiculous (for example, Parker supposedly practiced 15 hours a day for the two or three years leading into the height of his career). Technical proficiency aside, the other thing that made them great was imagination. Everyone has it. Some have simply "freed it" more than others. Anyone can think outside the box, but few choose to do so.

I guess everything and everyone starts somewhere, and sometimes those things get corrupted by what it turns into. But thats another topic for another entry.

Maybe i'll write about something flimsy and shallow and not about music next!

i've got a box full of letters

I was born 22 years ago today. So i'd thought i'd use my birthday as
an excuse to expound upon my thoughts on age and my limited experience with
it. Well, compared to people older than me. Yeah, i'm a comedy genius.

I think it was in my senior year of high school when i really changed my perspective on age. It was really a reactionary thing to all the typical "what are YOU doing after school?" bullshit. i felt that i really had no idea what the fuck i wanted to do the year after school, much less for the rest of my life. I saw all these kids-yes, thats what we all are at that point, kids-going and spending thousands of dollars of thier parent's money on an education, something that's meant to be responsible for the direction of the rest of thier lives. I suppose that's not a negative thing for some people, but i digress. My point is, it's unacceptable to me to have to make a decision like that at an age of 17 or 18, all the while dealing with the pressure of...well, just being that age. I thought..and i still think, what's the damn rush? I think a passage from the book "Fight Club" deals with what i'm
trying to say. Paraphrased:

When I graduated high school, i asked my dad what i should do.
He said, "Go to college."
When I got my degree, i asked him, "What next?"
He said, "Get a job."
After i got a job, i asked him again.
He said, "Get married."
At this point, I'm a 30 year old boy.


We're being pushed through 'curriculum' for the first part of our lives, and when we are given the chance to be free from it for the first time, most of us are just choosing to continue that.

Since i've just decided to ignore what is expected of most people with my intelligence and prospects, I've really felt like i can just take my time with whatever it is that i'm going to do.

Or maybe i'm just going to punch the next person who looks at me funny when i say thati'm 22 and not in school right now.

The Glory of Seinfeld

I'm not sure why i love this show so much. It's just constantly funny to me. I guess it's the deliver and the timing of the 'jokes about nothing'.

Flipping the remote.

I'm looking to do a sort of side project soon. It'll be rock. and roll. I have all this cool music and melody, but no lyrics to put with it. I'm like Elton John or some shit.

The music i'm writing separate from CA is definitely a lot more 'normal' i guess. I want the music to be songy, but i still want to rock. I never get to write sad music for CA, and i want to do that.

Something by one of my favorite authors

http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/cold_turkey/


It's an article written by the old but still awesome Kurt Vonnegut. It's entitled "Cold Turkey." Read it.

Jazz: The Music of Unemployment

Playing guitar in jazz is an art. It's something that very few players can do. It's more than just 7th chords, funny symbols, and accenting two and four--there's a different sort of mindset involved with it. But I can't expect someone who doesn't play or doesn't care for the specifics of music to understand or care. And thats...okay.

I love the dark, mellow sound of a hollowbody electric, with the tone knob rolled off to about 6, through an old tube amp. I feel different and a bit special when i have that setup in a guitar store or whatever. I don't feel superior, just unique i suppose.

Players that can play 10 zillion notes don't impress me anymore. They just don't, no matter how fast or how technically advanced. I couldn't really care less. I want to have the notes and the way theyre used make me feel something--and useless speed doesn't make me feel anything. There's power in subtlety-sometimes i just want to be able to peel back the layers and find something that is creative and makes me think about it.

I'm not trying to say music has to be complicated for me to like it..but i like to have something to really think about and be impressed by sometimes. Then again, other times i just want to hear good ol' dumb rock 'n roll.

The End of an Era..or "Celebrate Good Times"

ORLANDO, Florida — The biggest rock band of the past decade has broken up.

After nearly 10 years together and more than 24 million albums sold, Creed have decided to put an end to their string of multiplatinum records and
chart-topping singles. The choice was made months ago, when guitarist Mark Tremonti and singer Scott Stapp reconvened after a yearlong hiatus and ran into problems.

"We had gotten together two or three times and nothing happened," Tremonti explained. "We got our instruments and played, but neither of us was taking it seriously. We were just running in circles. There wasn't a vibe like on the previous records. It felt very joblike. We knew that it would take us years to get a record out."

The trouble wasn't that the collaborative couple — Tremonti was responsible for the music, Stapp for the lyrics — were clashing creatively. Personal issues, mostly between Stapp and the rest of Creed, caused an irreparable rift that ultimately led to the band's demise.

"Scott and I hadn't been close for a while," Tremonti said, "and things just weren't working out. ... None of us really argued amongst each other. It was always Scott who had the problem."

Stapp declined to be interviewed for this story.

The animosity apparently began to churn two years ago, while Creed were promoting 2001's Weathered on a tour that Tremonti and drummer Scott Phillips described as long and grueling. For starters, to preserve his voice, Stapp sat out soundchecks, which had been where the bandmembers would goof around and playfully bounce new ideas off each other. So Tremonti was forced to germinate those ideas with Phillips and touring bassist Brett Hestla, who had replaced founding member Brian Marshall in 2000, and the collaboration got under Stapp's skin.

Having to postpone several dates because of Stapp's April 2002 car accident (see "Scott Stapp Discusses Accident That Derailed Creed Tour"), and a few more shows later that year due to his bout with laryngitis, only added to tensions in the band. Meanwhile, the other bandmembers got the sense that their singer wasn't as committed as they were, and his attention seemed fractured.

"It's not fun to count on other people when they're not that focused," Tremonti said. "Scott wasn't in the mindset that we were. He wasn't as focused on the current tour. He had 800 things on his mind, and I think that distracted him from what we were doing."

Among the ventures that Stapp was exploring was a clothing line called Screamline and forays into acting.

"He definitely had his plate full, whether it was professional or personal," Phillips said. "He always had the cell phone going," the drummer added, with an eyebrow raised to relay his disgust.

Well aware that something wasn't right in the band's dynamic, Stapp, Phillips and Hestla began talking about their situation, though they didn't figure a permanent split was imminent.


HOORAY!

im bruce banner

i just wrote a whole long-ass entry into this fucking blog, and i get a 'this page cannot be displayed' error when i clicked 'post'. FUCKjdklasfjakdlsfnma,.dsfhajksdhfjkalsdhfjaksdnfa

im writing in notepad from now on

Flat five of five substition gets me every time

I have a killer blister on my second smallest toe, and it really hurts. It's from my old work boots, which have been worn 5 days a week for almost 3 years. The right one recently split it's sole, and the resulting fissure below the padding is getting to my feet. I guess it's time to buy a new pair after i give the current ones a proper funeral. :(

I love Mozilla. It's like being i'm Ebenezer Scrooge being led around Internet by the Ghosts of Christmas, except it's not Christmas, and I'm not greedy and/or rich. Nothing can really hurt me, but i can still see all the stupid, sad, pathetic shit that pollutes the web. Oh, and the good stuff too.

No popups, no fucking spyware, no changing my homepage, no "Windows Messenger Service" shit, without having to run any outside programs such as Ad-aware. Doesn't that already sound great? I don't mean to come off as a zealot like those Linux freaks, but it really is obvious that this solves a lot of problems that i was having.

My brother got a shirt in the mail the other day. I didn't know he was getting it. It was a black Mozilla t-shirt with "take back the web" written on the back. I called him a bastard for getting one before me. LOL, its just dorky enough.

Since I've been in a list mood, my 10 favorite guitarists:
10. Larry Carlton
9. Frank Zappa
8. Jeff Beck
7. Albert King
6. Eric Johnson
5. Billy Corgan
4. Steve Stevens
3. Trey Anastasio
2. Pat Metheny
1. Steve Vai

I give Vai the top spot even though I haven't listened to him in a while. He gets 'all-time' cred for me though. I'm probably forgetting someone, and i'll update it with what i remember later. Also, this list doesn't weigh songwriting that much, its just who i enjoy listening to the most. Maybe i'll do the songwriter one next.

I just woke up on the floor today..

So I'm "watching" the Pre-packaged Musical Enjoyment Product Sealed for Your Protection Part of a Complete Breakfast Nu-Perfect America show on Fox, where the performers aren't supposed to be concerned with music, for they are only required to move thier arms and hands in a such a way that can only be seen everyday on Maury Povich. The safest rock band on the planet, 3 Doors Down, is now playing..and the singer looks like he's in his 'booze and pills' phase, soon to be followed by the cocaine phase. The audience looks like they were hand-selected for appearance and ability to 'shake it like they jus doan cayer". Also, the only thing keeping me from shooting myself in the face is the constant projectile vomiting.

My solution: I turned the volume down on the TV, opened up Winamp, and now i'm enjoying some Jellyfish tracks. I feel better.