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For the past couple of weeks, i've been working on my voice. My *gasp* singing voice. And it's hard. Really fucking hard...but i actually feel like i'm getting somewhere. The method: trial and error..and a whole lot of brute force practice. I think i will eventually bring my vocal "talents" (cough) to Candid Avenue, and we'll have more background vocals. That would be nice. Oh, and i'll be playing some more open mic nights too, that will definitely be challenging and fun.

Now for something completely different!

I've found over the course of my 21 years that I'm not an angry guy. I've always been fairly cool about most things that could cause me to be angry, although i realize i usually react with annoyance or disdain or impatience instead. But, in the time where i find myself mad about.. whathaveyou, i've had trouble dealing with it in such a 'pure' way that someone like Henry Rollins talks about. Being angry is never so refined with me.

I've found that with my occasional anger there accompanies with it a feeling of selfishness. I think i really know the reason why now--it's partly from how i feel when i realize i'm considering and trying to protect my own feelings with my anger and defensiveness with no regard to others. Therefore, i find it terribly difficult to just be angry at someone. Some little part of me is always giving the benefit of the doubt--of course, at the expense of ME. It makes me think that maybe subconsciously i don't give my own feelings enough weight or credit. That might be true, and i may just explode or spontaneously combust one of these days.